boeserhimmel: (go away world...)
I have a Japanese exam this Monday (or rather the Japanese exam of this semester...) and I'm actually studying for it but I am really afraid that it's not enough. Studying has never been one of my strengths: I am lazy and my concentration has never been the best.

Now, I'm not afraid I won't pass, my Japanese is good enough for that, but I'd really like to get a good mark, too. I'd absolutely love to have at least 90 of 100 points (60 are required for passing) but somehow I think 70, or 80 at most, would be a lot more realistic. But I wouldn't be happy with that...

The problem is that I have a habit of making stupid little mistakes even with things that are really simple or that I'm good at. Mixing up/forgetting letters or words doesn't really matter in English or German anymore because nobody will believe I actually think "book" would be spelled "boog" or something. But in a new language stuff like that counts as a full mistake.

*sigh*

Back to studying kanji, then.

And vocabulary. OMG, there is so much vocab left to learn...
boeserhimmel: (writing)
For one of my classes (which is in general the most useless class ever) I have to do a presentation and write some kind of essay on the topic of Aum Shinrikyô and Japan's cult problem in general. Research so far has been rather interesting -- though not really fun since it's too stressful for that -- and I am making progress.

But there are some rather strange things about Japanese new religions you can find. Some of those are... weird. And I quote: "Among those that disappeared was Denshinkyo, which worshipped electricity as their main deity and Thomas Alva Edison as one of four lesser deities (...)”

That's pretty damn hilarious.


On a more serious topic, since Aum was "important" from the eighties into the nineties -- with the subway gas attack happening in 1995 -- I am of course reading a lot about Japanese society and the general "mood" of the people.

And then I think, hey, I know most of that stuff.

Because I read Tokyo Babylon.

I think it's very fascinating how well a comic managed to capture the spirit of an era (let's just call it that, okay?). This is hardly news of course -- TYOB was always very obviously critical of social issues (duh) and I've often seen it praised for mirroring the society of it's time...
But it's just been beating me over the head those past few days: The cult Subaru is sent to investigate, the girls that think they are chosen to fight against the end of the word... it's all there. Just one more reason to love it, I guess. ♥
boeserhimmel: (rl)
So, I sort of have an rl. Too much of it in fact...

I haven't been on here in weeks even though I always think "OMG I need to post more and join more communities and get back into fandom" but all that happens is me reblogging pretty pictures on tumblr or doing private RP.

And whenever I get home from uni I am deadly tired and only want to lie on my bed watching Youtube videos.
It's not a very productive lifestyle.
But I do some work for university at least. And I am actually meeting friends and stuff.

But, uh, maybe one day I will manage to get back to writing fanfic and cooking tasty meals...


PS: Still writer's block. For what, three years now?
boeserhimmel: (rl)
While I'm not dead I did do relatively little over the course of the last few months. That doesn't mean, however, that nothing happened. So, a short list of the epic events in my precious little life:

- I will give up biology. The very simple reason behind that is that I found out it's simply not for me. So I'll do Asian Studies starting next semester – hopefully, I'll get that place in Japanese that I hope for. I will have to move anyway, because there is no way in hell I will continue with biology.
So wish me luck!

- I got the platinum trophy for Skyrim. \o/

- Over the last long weekend (from Friday till Tuesday) I visited [personal profile] les_lenne AND IT WAS AWESOME.

- My life is still full of fail. The apartment looks horrible, I lack anything resembling motivation and my self-confidence... well, we better not talk about that.

- Still anxiety. About everything.

- But I'm working on it.

- Still, I think I'm slowly getting back into writing. It's fun whenever I manage to motivate myself to start and I keep getting ideas. For the longest time I was lacking any and all inspiration. I was always able to make up scenes and dialogue in my head but that was gone and I think it's returning. That won't increase the quality of my writing, but hey, that's something you can work on.

- I finished playing Final Fantasy 13-2 and I didn't hate the ending? Didn't like it really, but it fit. The "to be continued"-screen made me really angry, though. I consider getting all the paradox endings and maybe, just maybe, try working towards the platinum trophy. But really, I have more than enough games left to play and I can't create time from thin air.

...I think that was it, mostly. There's a lot of time spent playing video games.

:( :( :(

Feb. 2nd, 2012 12:39 pm
boeserhimmel: (go away world...)
So I manage to oversleep once in twenty years because the alarm clock doesn't ring and of course it's on the one day I'm actually supposed to meet up with to of my my uni friends (?) to have breakfast.


So no meaningful irl social interaction for me today.
It's not as if I wasn't used to that.

*shivers*

Feb. 1st, 2012 06:20 pm
boeserhimmel: (go away world...)
It's freezing. I am actually too cold to get up right now and look for the temperature but last I looked it was -8°C and now that it's dark it will not exactly have gotten warmer exactly.
Sunday night was... -14,5°C or something?

The heating can't really keep up. I'm sitting on the chair in my living room, with a scarf and hat and two blankets, basically hugging the heater and I'm still not warm even though my left arm feels like it's burning because the room just won't heat up.
Please note that I'm usually somebody who can deal quite well with the cold.

But this weather is special, really.

fml

Jan. 16th, 2012 06:57 pm
boeserhimmel: (rl)
Finally slept at 3:30 a.m. or something (The one responsible. You know who you are. I hate you today, allright? KTHXBAY.). Had to get up at 6:30 a.m. - tempted to strangle self with own hands.
Gets ready for university, exits the door and finds car covered by a millimetre-thick layer of ice. Broke ice scraper on stone-hard surface. Proceeded to weep silently. Found windows and windshield frozen from the inside, too.
Was late for chemistry lecture.
Got out of university building ten hours later to find car frozen yet again. Couldn't bring self to care.
Drove home half-blind.

Other things happened. I drank the strongest espresso known to man-kind with a dose of sugar that would have killed a diabetic person right on the spot, which left me shaking uncontrollably throughout neurobiology. (Kind of fitting, really.)
Speaking of which, neurobiology was fun. The professor is easy to listen to but really, I wish we would learn things I haven't dealt with extensively in school.

Was informed by uni friends that I was supposed to organise our little trip to a guided tour through the anatomy department (because they'll have a human body there, of course!) Couldn't remember ever agreeing to that. I guess they asked me on Friday while I was asleep and I made some sound that could be interpreted as "yes". If this is what their love lives are like I am truly worried.

Wrote some fan fiction. The characters apparently don't care about what I want anymore.

...

Jan. 11th, 2012 05:55 pm
boeserhimmel: (go away world...)
Was nützt es mir in den Startlöchern zu stehen
wenn ich gar nicht weiß, wo das Ziel ist?
Was nützt es, auf der rechten Bahn zu bleiben
wenn der Langstreckensprint kein Spiel ist?
Wie soll ich jemals all die Hürden nehmen
in diesen viel zu großen Schuhen?
Warum fühl ich mich kleiner als mein Spiegelbild?
Und was kann man dagegen tun?

Was kann man dagegen tun?
Wenn der Weg, den man geht, nur ein Kreis ist
Was kann man dagegen tun?
Wenn selbst der Brei, um den man schleicht, nicht mehr heiß ist

Stehst du dir nur im Weg und mit dir selber im Konflikt
Dann mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Steht alles auf dem Spiel und das Spiel hat sich verstrickt
Dann mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Der Zünder ist gezogen und du weißt die Bombe tickt
Mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Die Zweifel überblickt, es scheint verzweifelt und verzwickt
Mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub, der dich erstickt!

Du bist am Boden denn die Schwerkraft hat mehr Kraft
als der, der an der Mühle dreht
Und so wie jedes Kind fragst du dich
wo ist der Wind, wenn er nicht weht?
Man ackert nicht mit Ponys und das weißt du auch
also warum lässt du sie nicht ruhen?
Warum denkst du, die Stunden zählen gegen dich?
Und was kann man dagegen tun?

Was kann man dagegen tun?
Wenn du zu müde schon zum Schlafen bist
Was kann man dagegen tun?
Wenn dein Heim nicht mehr dein Hafen ist

Stehst du dir nur im Weg und mit dir selber im Konflikt
Dann mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Steht alles auf dem Spiel und das Spiel hat sich verstrickt
Dann mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Der Zünder ist gezogen und du weißt die Bombe tickt
Mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Die Zweifel überblickt, es scheint verzweifelt und verzwickt
Mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub, der dich erstickt!

EVERYBODY!

Dec. 24th, 2011 09:18 pm
boeserhimmel: (:D)
Merry Christmas, world!

our christmas tree



and now for the important details )
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