boeserhimmel: (go away world...)
I have a Japanese exam this Monday (or rather the Japanese exam of this semester...) and I'm actually studying for it but I am really afraid that it's not enough. Studying has never been one of my strengths: I am lazy and my concentration has never been the best.

Now, I'm not afraid I won't pass, my Japanese is good enough for that, but I'd really like to get a good mark, too. I'd absolutely love to have at least 90 of 100 points (60 are required for passing) but somehow I think 70, or 80 at most, would be a lot more realistic. But I wouldn't be happy with that...

The problem is that I have a habit of making stupid little mistakes even with things that are really simple or that I'm good at. Mixing up/forgetting letters or words doesn't really matter in English or German anymore because nobody will believe I actually think "book" would be spelled "boog" or something. But in a new language stuff like that counts as a full mistake.


Back to studying kanji, then.

And vocabulary. OMG, there is so much vocab left to learn...
boeserhimmel: (writing)
For one of my classes (which is in general the most useless class ever) I have to do a presentation and write some kind of essay on the topic of Aum Shinrikyô and Japan's cult problem in general. Research so far has been rather interesting -- though not really fun since it's too stressful for that -- and I am making progress.

But there are some rather strange things about Japanese new religions you can find. Some of those are... weird. And I quote: "Among those that disappeared was Denshinkyo, which worshipped electricity as their main deity and Thomas Alva Edison as one of four lesser deities (...)”

That's pretty damn hilarious.

On a more serious topic, since Aum was "important" from the eighties into the nineties -- with the subway gas attack happening in 1995 -- I am of course reading a lot about Japanese society and the general "mood" of the people.

And then I think, hey, I know most of that stuff.

Because I read Tokyo Babylon.

I think it's very fascinating how well a comic managed to capture the spirit of an era (let's just call it that, okay?). This is hardly news of course -- TYOB was always very obviously critical of social issues (duh) and I've often seen it praised for mirroring the society of it's time...
But it's just been beating me over the head those past few days: The cult Subaru is sent to investigate, the girls that think they are chosen to fight against the end of the word... it's all there. Just one more reason to love it, I guess. ♥
boeserhimmel: (rl)
So, I sort of have an rl. Too much of it in fact...

I haven't been on here in weeks even though I always think "OMG I need to post more and join more communities and get back into fandom" but all that happens is me reblogging pretty pictures on tumblr or doing private RP.

And whenever I get home from uni I am deadly tired and only want to lie on my bed watching Youtube videos.
It's not a very productive lifestyle.
But I do some work for university at least. And I am actually meeting friends and stuff.

But, uh, maybe one day I will manage to get back to writing fanfic and cooking tasty meals...

PS: Still writer's block. For what, three years now?
boeserhimmel: (love ♥)

three more pictures )

Compared to the 5-volume bunko format version that was published in Germany they are pretty much gigantic. Twice the size I'd say but I'm at my parents' and can't compare them right now. They are also larger than the normal tankoubon, I think. Oh, I'd love to own the 7-volume TYOB edition in Japanese one day but seriously, I'd pay as much for shipping as for the comics and that's... just no. :\ Anyway, it's awesome to see the pictures in that size. The paper quality seems okay as well (nothing special though). Volume 3 will be released in September and I'm still waiting for the delivery of the X Infinity artbook. So I have something to look forward to!

Now I only have to be accepted by the university so that I'll be able to read them one day. :D


Jun. 21st, 2012 02:04 pm
boeserhimmel: (:D)

Apparently I'll get the apartment?

The housing society called?

That was quick.


Yay. \o/
boeserhimmel: (Sei/Sub)
Subaru has a twin that is not Hokuto.

Hokuto remains nowhere to be seen.


Jun. 3rd, 2012 08:26 am
boeserhimmel: (gaming)

I guess that means I'll have to start a new character in a few months to properly enjoy this? ...Somehow I don't mind.
boeserhimmel: (rl)
While I'm not dead I did do relatively little over the course of the last few months. That doesn't mean, however, that nothing happened. So, a short list of the epic events in my precious little life:

- I will give up biology. The very simple reason behind that is that I found out it's simply not for me. So I'll do Asian Studies starting next semester – hopefully, I'll get that place in Japanese that I hope for. I will have to move anyway, because there is no way in hell I will continue with biology.
So wish me luck!

- I got the platinum trophy for Skyrim. \o/

- Over the last long weekend (from Friday till Tuesday) I visited [personal profile] les_lenne AND IT WAS AWESOME.

- My life is still full of fail. The apartment looks horrible, I lack anything resembling motivation and my self-confidence... well, we better not talk about that.

- Still anxiety. About everything.

- But I'm working on it.

- Still, I think I'm slowly getting back into writing. It's fun whenever I manage to motivate myself to start and I keep getting ideas. For the longest time I was lacking any and all inspiration. I was always able to make up scenes and dialogue in my head but that was gone and I think it's returning. That won't increase the quality of my writing, but hey, that's something you can work on.

- I finished playing Final Fantasy 13-2 and I didn't hate the ending? Didn't like it really, but it fit. The "to be continued"-screen made me really angry, though. I consider getting all the paradox endings and maybe, just maybe, try working towards the platinum trophy. But really, I have more than enough games left to play and I can't create time from thin air.

...I think that was it, mostly. There's a lot of time spent playing video games.

:( :( :(

Feb. 2nd, 2012 12:39 pm
boeserhimmel: (go away world...)
So I manage to oversleep once in twenty years because the alarm clock doesn't ring and of course it's on the one day I'm actually supposed to meet up with to of my my uni friends (?) to have breakfast.

So no meaningful irl social interaction for me today.
It's not as if I wasn't used to that.


Feb. 1st, 2012 06:20 pm
boeserhimmel: (go away world...)
It's freezing. I am actually too cold to get up right now and look for the temperature but last I looked it was -8°C and now that it's dark it will not exactly have gotten warmer exactly.
Sunday night was... -14,5°C or something?

The heating can't really keep up. I'm sitting on the chair in my living room, with a scarf and hat and two blankets, basically hugging the heater and I'm still not warm even though my left arm feels like it's burning because the room just won't heat up.
Please note that I'm usually somebody who can deal quite well with the cold.

But this weather is special, really.
boeserhimmel: (writing)
When I try and force my brain to be creative it deliberately makes up the most ridiculous ideas possible.

I believe it is trolling me.


Jan. 24th, 2012 11:58 am
boeserhimmel: (-__-)
Macht es mich zu einem schlechten Menschen, wenn ich sämtliche X-Fanfics auf einer eingehenden MST-Behandlung unterziehen möchte?
Alternativ könnte ich auch Concrit verteilen.
Ich weiß nicht, was ich attraktiver fände.
Um Himmels Willen, man halte mich auf, bevor ich literarischen Amok laufe!

Insgesamt möchte ich mit sowieso nicht mehr viel zu tun haben.
Zum Einen wäre da die Einstellung der Userschaft und Admins. Warum muss immer alles zwanghaft eingedeutscht werden? Fanfic ist halt international! Das führt nur zu Genrebeschreibungen wie "Schmerz/Trost" oder Dingen wie... nun ja, dem Namen der Seite.
Aber was das anbelangt, ist mein allergrößtes Problem sowieso die latente Homophobie. Ich MUSS meine Storys mit Slash kennzeichnen, sobald ein Homopärchen eine wichtige Rolle spielt, weil ... ja sonst der Jugendschutz nicht mehr funktioniert?
Das Forum ist voll mit Leuten, die Diskutieren, wie schlecht Slash-Fic doch immer wäre, und "ich bin natürlich nicht homophob, aber ich will "sowas" nicht lesen DAS IST MEIN RECHT".
Und kein echte/r Homo würde jemals Slash lesen. "Ist ja voll homophob und zwar ALLES, deshalb mag ich es nicht lesen, also schaut bitte zu mir auf, hier oben auf meinem moralischen hohen Ross!"
"Überall nur Slashfic, wo sind denn mal die Heteros, gibt ja fast kein Material für uns!"
Ein herzliches Fuck you!

Zum Anderen ist da, WIE IMMER, das deutsche X-Fandom, das sein Bestes tut, um mich in den Wahnsinn zu treiben. 90% der deutschen "Fans" sind Leute, die irgendwann mal den Anime gesehen haben und sich fünf Jahre später daran erinnern, wie säxoy doch ihre Lieblingscharaktere waren und dann irgendwas zusammenschreibseln, das nichts, aber auch gar nichts mehr mit der Vorlage zu tun hat.
Nicht, dass andere Fandoms ein Geschenk an die Menschheit wären, aber bei einem, das so klein ist, fällt es einfach enorm auf.
Das ist ein Fandom, in dem man die Kommentare zu Seishirou/Subaru-Fics durchliest und den Kopf auf den Tisch knallen will, wenn jemand fragt, was das denn für eine komische Wette wäre und Seishirou als Tierarzt LOL was ist das denn.

Ich will nicht mehr.
Ich föhne mir jetzt die Haare und fahre tanken.
boeserhimmel: (-__-)
Seishirou raised an eyebrow at him. “Well, I can’t do the rest without your permission,” he said dryly. “I may have many faults, but I’m not a rapist.”

Yes, because giving somebody a handjob, a blowjob and various kisses against their will while sticking your fingers up their rectum is totally not rape.
That's just how Japanese people greet each other!
boeserhimmel: (-__-)

I shouldn't be surprised.
But they treat it as good publicity.
boeserhimmel: (whatever)
Regenbogen Lichtschwingungs Essenz Die Regenbogen-Einhörner haben eine besondere Aufgabe: Sie heben durch ihre wundervolle Farbschwingung Deine Stimmung an, kurz gesagt: Sie bringen Dir GUTE LAUNE – so wie Homosex! Sie sind die Einhörner der Lichtschwingung, der Farben, der Chakren und der Aura. Wenn Du deine Chakren reinigen und aktivieren möchtest, dann ist dies die richtige Essenz für Dich . Die Regenbogen Einhörner aktivieren Deinen Erdstern und nähren Deinen Seelenstern, damit Du eine optimale Ausrichtung und Anbindung an die Erde und an den Himmel hast – so wie Homosex. Das Erstrahlen Deiner Aura schützt Dich und Du fühlst dich gut. Diese Essenz hilft auch Teenagern gut durch die Zeit ihrer Pubertät – so wie Homosex.



Jan. 16th, 2012 06:57 pm
boeserhimmel: (rl)
Finally slept at 3:30 a.m. or something (The one responsible. You know who you are. I hate you today, allright? KTHXBAY.). Had to get up at 6:30 a.m. - tempted to strangle self with own hands.
Gets ready for university, exits the door and finds car covered by a millimetre-thick layer of ice. Broke ice scraper on stone-hard surface. Proceeded to weep silently. Found windows and windshield frozen from the inside, too.
Was late for chemistry lecture.
Got out of university building ten hours later to find car frozen yet again. Couldn't bring self to care.
Drove home half-blind.

Other things happened. I drank the strongest espresso known to man-kind with a dose of sugar that would have killed a diabetic person right on the spot, which left me shaking uncontrollably throughout neurobiology. (Kind of fitting, really.)
Speaking of which, neurobiology was fun. The professor is easy to listen to but really, I wish we would learn things I haven't dealt with extensively in school.

Was informed by uni friends that I was supposed to organise our little trip to a guided tour through the anatomy department (because they'll have a human body there, of course!) Couldn't remember ever agreeing to that. I guess they asked me on Friday while I was asleep and I made some sound that could be interpreted as "yes". If this is what their love lives are like I am truly worried.

Wrote some fan fiction. The characters apparently don't care about what I want anymore.
boeserhimmel: (Sei/Sub)
One short, untitled, emotional softcore pornography fic! (193 words)
Fandom: X
Characters/Parings: Seishirou/Subaru
Rating: NSFW, hard R or something?
Notes: For [personal profile] les_lenne. Hopefully, it will make her horrible day a tiny bit better. <3
Criticism is very much welcome, as usual.

he really liked... )


Jan. 11th, 2012 05:55 pm
boeserhimmel: (go away world...)
Was nützt es mir in den Startlöchern zu stehen
wenn ich gar nicht weiß, wo das Ziel ist?
Was nützt es, auf der rechten Bahn zu bleiben
wenn der Langstreckensprint kein Spiel ist?
Wie soll ich jemals all die Hürden nehmen
in diesen viel zu großen Schuhen?
Warum fühl ich mich kleiner als mein Spiegelbild?
Und was kann man dagegen tun?

Was kann man dagegen tun?
Wenn der Weg, den man geht, nur ein Kreis ist
Was kann man dagegen tun?
Wenn selbst der Brei, um den man schleicht, nicht mehr heiß ist

Stehst du dir nur im Weg und mit dir selber im Konflikt
Dann mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Steht alles auf dem Spiel und das Spiel hat sich verstrickt
Dann mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Der Zünder ist gezogen und du weißt die Bombe tickt
Mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Die Zweifel überblickt, es scheint verzweifelt und verzwickt
Mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub, der dich erstickt!

Du bist am Boden denn die Schwerkraft hat mehr Kraft
als der, der an der Mühle dreht
Und so wie jedes Kind fragst du dich
wo ist der Wind, wenn er nicht weht?
Man ackert nicht mit Ponys und das weißt du auch
also warum lässt du sie nicht ruhen?
Warum denkst du, die Stunden zählen gegen dich?
Und was kann man dagegen tun?

Was kann man dagegen tun?
Wenn du zu müde schon zum Schlafen bist
Was kann man dagegen tun?
Wenn dein Heim nicht mehr dein Hafen ist

Stehst du dir nur im Weg und mit dir selber im Konflikt
Dann mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Steht alles auf dem Spiel und das Spiel hat sich verstrickt
Dann mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Der Zünder ist gezogen und du weißt die Bombe tickt
Mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub!
Die Zweifel überblickt, es scheint verzweifelt und verzwickt
Mach dich aus dem Staub! Mach dich aus dem Staub, der dich erstickt!


Jan. 10th, 2012 08:04 pm
boeserhimmel: (rl)
This is apparently one of those days where you suddenly realise that it has become late evening even though you haven't properly eaten during the day, the flat still looks a mess and you have carefully avoided studying for the upcoming, rather important exam.
Obviously, time doesn't care whether you pay attention to it or not.
boeserhimmel: (:D)

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